Meet Rafidah Jalil, an Edutech startup founder who embarked on a challenging in vitro fertilization (IVF) journey towards parenthood.
Her inspiring story sheds light on the complexities and emotional rollercoaster that can accompany fertility struggles. But on the flip side, it also tells a tale of hope and resilience.
Taking a plunge into the deep end
When Rafidah was 31, she began trying for children. After a few months with no success, Rafidah and her husband decided to undergo a basic fertility check with a GP. The results left them deeply concerned and prompted them to seek the expertise of an IVF specialist.
They discovered that Rafidah’s husband faced male infertility, with issues ranging from low sperm count to poor motility. The doctor’s recommendation was clear: if they wanted to have children, IVF was their best option.
The couple decided to take the plunge and embarked on a journey that would see them through five IVF cycles.
Rafidah was at the pinnacle of her banking career, and focusing on family building was a difficult choice.
“I never thought in a million years that I would cast my career away and focus on having a baby.”
It was a decision that would reshape her life, challenging her to prioritise the present over the future.
One of her supporters wisely told her that while her career could wait, her biological clock could not. This is a sentiment that many women can relate to.
Understanding the IVF process
IVF is an assisted reproductive technology in which eggs are retrieved from a woman’s ovaries and fertilized by sperm in a lab. The resulting embryos are then transferred to the woman’s uterus. IVF allows couples to conceive a child when other methods have not been successful.
The IVF process begins with fertility drugs to stimulate the ovaries to produce multiple eggs. Once mature, the eggs are retrieved through a minor surgical procedure.
The eggs are then fertilized in a lab using the sperm. If fertilization is successful, the resulting embryos develop for 3 to 5 days before being transferred to the uterus.
For more information read our definitive guide to IVF.
Navigating the emotional ups and downs of IVF
Rafidah shared that the journey through egg freezing and IVF can be a labyrinth to navigate, complicated by individual health conditions and unique issues faced by each couple.
The process isn’t one-size-fits-all and is highly tailored to the specific circumstances of the individuals involved. This highlights the importance of becoming well-informed about the process to ensure you’re asking the right questions and not burdening yourself with unnecessary stress.
Throughout her experience, Rafidah found that women are undeniably strong. However, it was the “mental pain” that came as an unexpected twist in her journey. The loss of control over such a crucial aspect of her life was profoundly challenging.
It’s a struggle that many individuals facing fertility issues can resonate with — the emotional turmoil that accompanies the medical procedures and waiting for that precious, life-changing outcome.
To aid her IVF journey, Rafidah shared that she did a lot of meditation, and also found herself turning to religion – a combination of faith and science.
She also encouraged those who are going through a similar situation to not be afraid to seek help.
“I realized that I needed professional help after I suffered a miscarriage. That is always available in the various hospitals and clinics, and it really helps to talk to a therapist and get help from a professional,” Rafidah shared.
IVF as a shared journey
In Rafidah’s remarkable IVF journey, her husband emerged as a central figure, providing unwavering support and grounding logic. While Rafidah navigated the emotional aspects and worked on being physically and mentally strong throughout the process, her husband played a vital role in maintaining a sense of balance.
As she recounted her experience, Rafidah explained how her husband, a pillar of strength, delved into thorough research to better understand the intricacies of IVF. His commitment to comprehending the process was not just a personal endeavour; it was a way to provide support to Rafidah.
She reflected on his dedication, saying, “He did the research so that he could support me in that. Not only that, he was there for all my appointments, all my checkups, he did all my shots. So it felt like we were in it together rather than I was doing it alone.”
It was also during this time that Rafidah found a supportive global community of ladies that were also going through the IVF process, which was a game changer for her. While her friends were extremely supportive, there was “something different” in talking to someone who was going through the exact same process.
At the same time, she was very heartened that her employers and colleagues were also supportive of her undergoing the IVF process.
“Even though they might not be completely aware of the IVF process, they knew why I was doing it and gave me all the support I needed… Especially since I was away from work for long periods of time.”
The strength of women
In a heartfelt reflection, Rafidah revealed that her IVF journey speaks volumes about the strength of women.
She marveled at how enduring the female body can be when faced with procedures from hormone shots to the eventual birthing process.
“I was surprised at how much my body could take,” she shared. This sentiment echoes the awe-inspiring resilience that women often exhibit, not just during IVF but in the daily trials they face.
“I was surprised at how much my body could take. Women go through pain every month and we act like it’s no big deal — We go on with our lives.”
This unwavering determination and ability to persevere through discomfort is an attribute that countless women share as they navigate the path to parenthood.
Rafidah’s message to fellow women on a similar journey is one of inspiration and empowerment. She believes that where there is a will, there’s undoubtedly a way, and she has witnessed firsthand the resolute determination of many women she has encountered.
The importance of fertility awareness
Rafidah’s IVF journey has left an indelible mark on her, prompting her to advocate for fertility awareness. She passionately encourages her peers to take the crucial step of going for a fertility check.
She stresses the significance of this proactive approach. “Every time I see a young person, I would ask if they have gone for a fertility check,” she shared.
Rafidah believes that understanding one’s own fertility health can empower individuals to make informed life choices. It’s a message that resonates with those who understand the value of proactive health management.
Getting checked provides valuable insights into your fertility health. Armed with this knowledge, you can make more informed decisions about planning your life. For some, this might involve considering options like egg freezing.
Rafidah coined it “fertility insurance” – a concept that provides peace of mind for the future. This way, individuals can take a proactive step to safeguard their future family planning goals.
Her advocacy serves as a reminder that taking control of your fertility health is a proactive and empowering step. Rafidah also encourages everyone to consider their reproductive health as a fundamental aspect of overall well-being.
In a world filled with opportunities, knowledge of fertility health can be the key to making the right choices.
Fertility preservation is a complex decision many women face. Making informed choices based on objective evidence can make this journey smoother.
Everyone’s experience with fertility is unique. It’s vital to get advice from fertility experts who understand these nuances.
This ensures you’re making the best decisions for your future family planning goals. To learn more, contact us today.
Jae is a dedicated and experienced content producer and creator who is committed to amplifying voices and fostering engagement. With a background in creating compelling content, her focus is on empowering women, championing their stories and inspiring positive change. You can also follow her on Linkedin.
